An Excellent Wknd [25.33]
Some thoughts on setting the temperature
Hello, hi, 👋
Happy Saturday, my friends. Here's hoping you all have such a great weekend that you completely forget that social media even exists.
Let's get into it.
❤️🔥 THE DAILY CHASE #72
Be a Thermostat, Not a Thermometer
In every relationship, we face a fundamental choice: will we be thermometers or thermostats?
Thermometers simply reflect their environment — rising and falling with each shift in emotional temperature around them.
Thermostats, by contrast, set the temperature, influencing the environment rather than being influenced by it.
When someone close to us brings negativity, complaint, or resistance to growth, the thermometer in us instantly absorbs and mirrors these qualities. We find ourselves pulled down to their level, responding with frustration, judgment, or matching their energy with our own brand of negativity. This reactive pattern leaves both parties diminished.
The thermostat approach requires something more challenging: maintaining our emotional set-point regardless of external conditions. This doesn't mean becoming cold or distant — quite the opposite. It means bringing such consistent warmth, presence, and intention that we gradually influence the emotional climate around us.
This shift from reading to regulating requires awareness first.
Notice when you feel yourself being pulled into someone else's emotional state. Is your family member's frustration becoming your frustration? Is your colleague's anxiety sparking your own? These moments of recognition are opportunities to set your own temperature.
The most powerful thermostats don't try to control others directly.
Instead, they maintain their own steady presence, creating a space where others might eventually choose to calibrate differently. They approach challenging relationships with curiosity rather than judgment, neutrality rather than resistance.
Being a thermostat doesn't guarantee that difficult relationships will transform — some people are committed to their temperature regardless of yours. But it ensures that you won't be constantly thrown off-center by forces outside your control.
When you regulate your emotional climate rather than simply reading it, you reclaim agency in even the most challenging relationships.
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🗓️ THIS WEEK
What we put out into the world over the last 7 days.
From Raised Hands to Real Change: A Step-by-Step Guide to Being a Better Change Agent
Diving into how to effectively help someone start their health journey by meeting them where they are and planting the right seeds for lasting change.
The Daily Chase
Brief, focused essays delivered each weekday morning to Chase Club members.
On Tuesday, friend-of-the-show EC Synkowski joins us to talk about how to ask better questions to unlock better results.
We'll explore the five enemies that block your progress and reveal how shifting from "Why is this happening to me?" to "What can I control here?" can transform your approach to challenges.
Until then, chase on.
🤙🏼 Patrick
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