The Art Project Leads
Daily Chase #277
Patrick wrote a note to himself a few years ago after spending time with his cousin, Christina Watka.
She’s an installation artist. She walks into spaces — hotels, homes, public buildings — with only the beginning of a plan, knowing she needs to read the room before she can make the art. She doesn’t impose as much as she receives.
The note Patrick wrote read, in part: “Raising a child is like raising an art project. A bad artist would spend years trying to keep the art project as closely aligned with the original vision as possible. But an evolved artist knows the art project leads and the artist follows.”
See, most of us arrive at parenting with a picture. We have ideas about who our kids will be, what they’ll love, how they’ll turn out. Some of us never consciously examine those pictures. We just carry them.
And then, quietly, over years — we start steering. Nudging. Choosing activities, setting expectations, responding to surprises with correction rather than curiosity.
The art project doesn’t match the plan. So we try to “fix” the project.
Christina’s art teacher once pulled shirts off a wall during a critique and rearranged them. At first, Christina was appalled — until she really looked at the result. “That’s 10,000 times better than my plan,” she thought.
The lesson: rigidity does a disservice to the work. The work needs space and permission to become what it is.
Your kids aren’t finished art projects. They’re not raw material for a fixed vision. If you treat parenting more like an artist treats a space — entering with intention but without attachment, curious about what you’ll find — you’ll make less noise and see more clearly.
The art leads. Follow it.
More on this idea from Christina in this week’s episode →
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