An Excellent Wknd [26.11]
Some thoughts on the two kinds of attention
Happy Saturday, my friends.
Before we dive in — some news I’m proud to share: my second children’s book, What’s a Win I Won Today?, is now available on Amazon.
The idea came directly from a conversation we had on the show with our friend Mark England, the mindset coach and language expert, who reminded us that writing down a single win at the end of each day is one of the most powerful habits a young person can build.
If you have kids in your life, I think they’ll love it.
📗 Grab a copy of What’s a Win I Won Today?
📘 Grab a copy of The ABCs of Being Happy & Healthy
Alright — let’s get into it.
STOP OPTIMIZING, START BELONGING
We’ve become machines. Not literally — though sometimes it feels that way — but in how we see the world. We wake up and immediately narrow our attention to the next task, the next optimization, the next thing to control and automate. Everything becomes an object to manage, including the people around us.
The writer Daniel Coyle pointed out to us that your brain has two ways of paying attention. Task attention is narrow and focused — built to grab things, predict outcomes, and turn life into a checklist. Relational attention is wide and warm — designed to connect, to wonder, to see relationships instead of objects.
Modern life has trained us to live almost entirely in task mode. We’re constantly optimizing, constantly grabbing for the next thing, constantly treating our world like a machine that needs better settings. And in that mode, we lose something essential. We lose presence. We lose the ability to connect deeply. We lose access to the very attention system that makes flourishing possible.
The path back isn’t complicated. Light a candle before you sit down to work. Watch the sunrise once a week. Ask someone what makes them feel most alive instead of what they got done today. These moments don’t accomplish anything — and that’s exactly why they matter. They shift your attention from controlling to connecting.
Flourishing doesn’t happen when you finally optimize everything. It happens when you stop treating life like a machine and start treating it like something worth being with. The discipline isn’t to work harder or move faster. The discipline is to slow down when everything in you wants to speed up, to connect when it would be easier to optimize, to belong even when belonging asks more of you than efficiency ever would.
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🎧 7 Universal Laws Every Self-Aware Person Should Know
Exploring the universal principles that guide intentional, self-aware living — and the framework that ties them all together.
🎧 The Difference Between Those Who Rarely Miss a Workout & Everyone Else (w/ Jordan Metzl, MD)
Dr. Jordan Metzl joins us to break down what separates the people who show up consistently from those who don’t — and what it actually takes to become one of them.
❤️🔥 The Daily Chase
Brief, focused essays delivered each weekday morning to Chase Club members.
On Monday, we’re bringing over two conversations from the Consistency Project with EC Synkowski — our go-to for high-fact, low-B.S. nutrition science.
She’s going to show you why calorie trackers, wearables, and even the latest wave of AI diet tools all share the same fundamental flaw. And why the solution — spoiler — is simpler than any of them would have you believe.
Until then, keep on chasing.
🤙🏼 Patrick
PS, Got a question for Ben? Starting in April, we’re bringing back listener questions to the main feed - and we’d love to hear from you. Please submit your questions here!
Yay! Congrats on the new book! Will have to order it soon!