Surplus Value Mindset: Become the Person Everyone Wants on Their Crew (w/ Chris Irwin & Mark England)
5 Big Ideas, 3 Reflection Questions, 1 Takeaway
We explore the concept of being an asset versus a burden in every area of your life - and how this simple framework can transform the way you show up for yourself and others.
You’ll learn why fitness isn’t just about physical capability but about your capacity to respond to whatever life throws at you, how to assess whether you’re creating surplus value in your relationships and work, and what it means to build both mental and physical reserves that serve not just you, but the people around you.
Chris Irwin and Mark England join the conversation to break down how breathing, stories, and systems thinking all play into whether you’re the person everyone wants on their team—or the one holding everyone back.
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🖐 5 BIG IDEAS
1. Fitness Is Your Capacity to Respond
The simplest and most powerful definition of fitness - both physical and mental - is your capacity to respond to whatever life throws at you. Can you lift the tree off your friend? Can you run for help? Can you keep your composure when chaos surrounds you?
This framework cuts through all the noise about training splits, macros, and optimization. It asks one fundamental question: when life demands something of you, can you answer the call? That’s fitness. Not your bench press max or your mile time, but whether you have the reserves - physical, mental, emotional - to show up when it matters.
The beauty of this definition is that it applies everywhere. Can you handle a stressful conversation without losing your center? Can you pivot when plans fall apart? Can you be present for someone else when they need you? Your capacity to respond is the measure of your preparedness for life.
2. You’re Either an Asset or a Burden
In any given situation, you fall into one of two categories: you’re either making things easier for the people around you, or you’re making things harder. You’re either creating surplus value or consuming it.
If the bus flips over and catches fire, can you help others get out, or do they need to help you? If a project at work goes sideways, do you bring solutions and calm, or do you add to the panic? This framework forces you to look clearly at where you stand.
The goal isn’t perfection in every domain. The goal is to build enough capacity in enough areas that you’re a net positive more often than not. And when you find yourself in a situation where you’re the burden - maybe you’re learning something new, maybe you’re genuinely struggling - you can acknowledge it and work to shift the balance over time.
3. Breathing Well Makes You a Baseline Asset
One of the simplest and most overlooked ways to shift from burden to asset is to breathe well. When you’re in a stress response - breath trapped in your chest, tunnel vision setting in - you lose access to your creative faculties, your peripheral vision, and your ability to listen and think clearly.
In that state, you’re not just less helpful - you’re actively making things worse. You become reactive, defensive, and rigid. But when you breathe low and slow, you stay in your parasympathetic nervous system. You keep your composure. You can see the full picture and respond thoughtfully rather than reactively.
This is why breath is such a powerful tool for leadership and presence. The person who can breathe well in chaos becomes the calm center that others can organize around. You don’t need special skills or knowledge to be that person - you just need to remember to breathe.
4. Leadership Is Listening
The foundation of being an asset to any team or community isn’t having all the answers or being the loudest voice in the room. It’s being a good listener. And good listeners, it turns out, are good breathers.
Know-it-alls aren’t good breathers. They’re holding their breath, waiting to talk, waiting to have their opinion heard. They’re so focused on being right that they’ve lost the capacity to actually hear what’s being said. That’s not leadership - that’s ego dressed up as expertise.
Real leadership means being willing to zoom out, consider other perspectives, and sometimes defer to the person with the most weighted opinion rather than the most seniority. It means creating space for people to feel heard, even when the final decision goes against what they wanted. When people know their position was genuinely considered, they’re far more likely to support the direction - even if it’s not the one they argued for. And that only happens when you slow down, breathe well, and actually listen.
5. Your Stories Determine Your Assets
The stories you tell yourself about who you are and what’s possible shape whether you show up as an asset or a burden. If your story is “I have all these negative thoughts,” you’re trapped in passivity. If your story is “I observe these thoughts and choose which ones to believe,” you have agency.
Mark’s insight here is critical: we’re only responsible for the thoughts we believe and act upon. You can’t control what floats through your mind, but you can absolutely control what you do with it. And the story you tell about that process - whether you’re a victim of your thoughts or an observer of them - changes everything.
The most effective people aren’t the ones who never have doubts or fears. They’re the ones who recognize those feelings, acknowledge them, and choose to act anyway. They’ve rewritten the story from “I’m stuck” to “I’m learning.” From “I can’t” to “I’m building capacity.” That shift alone moves you from burden to asset.
🤔 3 REFLECTION QUESTIONS
1. In which areas of your life are you currently an asset, and where are you still a burden?
Be specific and honest. Maybe you’re physically fit but emotionally reactive. Maybe you’re great at your job but unreliable in your personal relationships. The goal isn’t to judge yourself - it’s to see clearly where you already create surplus value and where you still need to build capacity.
2. What would change if you committed to being a better breather in high-stress moments?
Think about the last time you felt overwhelmed, anxious, or reactive. How was your breathing in that moment? What might have shifted if you’d been able to stay calm and centered? Consider building a simple practice: when stress hits, pause and take three slow, deep breaths before responding.
3. What’s one domain where you could build capacity this year that would make you more valuable to the people who matter most?
Maybe it’s physical strength so you can help when things get heavy. Maybe it’s emotional regulation so you can stay calm when others are panicking. Maybe it’s a specific skill that would make you more useful in your work or community. Pick one area and commit to building real capacity there.
🔑 1 KEY TAKEAWAY
The pursuit of being an asset is the pursuit of freedom and service in equal measure.
When you build the capacity to respond - physically, mentally, emotionally - you’re not just making yourself more capable. You’re making yourself more free. Free from being controlled by circumstance. Free from being dependent on others to solve problems you should be able to handle yourself. Free to show up for the people and purposes that matter most.
But that freedom isn’t an end in itself. The whole point of building capacity is to extend it beyond yourself. To create surplus value. To be the person others can count on when things get hard. To contribute more than you consume.
This is the mindset that builds strong teams, resilient communities, and meaningful lives. It’s the recognition that your fitness - in every sense of the word - isn’t just about you. It’s about what you can do for others when they need you most.
The question isn’t whether you’ll face moments that demand more than you feel you have. Of course you will. The question is whether you’ll have built the reserves to meet those moments with strength, composure, and generosity. Whether you’ll be the person who lifts the tree, or the one who needs lifting. Whether you’ll create value, or consume it.
Start building capacity today. Train your body. Train your mind. Learn to breathe. Tell yourself better stories. Not because it makes you superior, but because it makes you useful. And being useful - being an asset - is one of the most meaningful things you can be.
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