Why You Should Treat Triumph & Disaster as the Imposters That They Are

The Full Listener's Guide

Nov 25, 2025

We explore Rudyard Kipling’s timeless poem “If” and unpack what it reveals about resilience, emotional intelligence, and building character that lasts.

You’ll learn why triumph and disaster are both impostors, how to return to center when chaos surrounds you, what it means to rebuild with worn-out tools, and why the discipline to be the same person in every environment is the foundation of a meaningful life.

Ben shares personal stories about imposter syndrome, competing freely, and grace under risk - plus reads his own modern translation of the poem that makes the wisdom accessible for today (which you can also read below).

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5 Big Ideas

1. Emotional Intelligence is Centered Calmness

The first principle of character is keeping your composure when chaos surrounds you.

When others panic, when blame flies, when doubt fills the air - the goal isn’t to avoid feeling these emotions, but to return to center as quickly as possible.

Think of it like driving through a tunnel: you’ll drift toward the walls, but your energy should go toward steering back to the middle, not hitting the walls harder.

As the seas get rougher, the captain gets calmer.

2. Triumph and Disaster Are Both Imposters

Success and failure are temporary conditions, not definitions of who you are. A realist mindset recognizes that wins can vanish and that losses can become opportunities.

The real and lasting thing is your internal character - who you’re becoming in the process.

When you maintain this perspective, you experience joy at a higher, more consistent level instead of riding the emotional rollercoaster of external outcomes.

3. Resilience Means Rebuilding With Worn-Out Tools

True resilience isn’t about never breaking - it’s about what you do when things crumble. Can you humbly bend down and pick up the pieces? Can you rebuild using whatever strength and skill you have left, without complaint or self-pity?

The worn-out tools are a reminder that you’ve done this work before. You have the experience. You can do it again.

4. Grace Under Risk Requires Discipline and Detachment

The ability to compete freely, to put yourself in the arena without fear of loss, comes from marrying two seemingly opposite forces: disciplined preparation and complete detachment from outcomes.

When you’re not clinging to your reputation or past victories, you can take shots without hesitation. You can pile all your winnings in and risk it because you’re not defined by what you win or lose - you’re defined by your willingness to show up.

5. Character Is Context-Independent

Can you be the same person with crowds as you are with kings? Can you maintain your values regardless of who’s watching or what environment you’re in?

Integrity means doing the right thing regardless of circumstances, regardless of whether anyone knows, regardless of how easy or hard it is, regardless of who’s around.

This requires purposeful living: filling each minute with intention rather than drifting down the river.

3 Reflection Questions

1. Where are you currently hitting the tunnel walls instead of steering back to center?

Think about a recent situation where you felt knocked off balance — by criticism, disappointment, or conflict. How quickly did you return to your centered self? What would it look like to redirect that energy from defending yourself or retaliating toward simply regaining your composure?

2. What worn-out tools do you already have that you’ve been reluctant to pick back up?

What skills, relationships, or practices have you used before that could serve you now? What would it look like to humbly start rebuilding with what you already have, rather than waiting for perfect conditions or new resources?

3. How does your character change based on context — and where do you want to be more consistent?

Are you the same person at work as you are at home? With strangers as you are with close friends? When things are going well versus when they’re falling apart? Where is the gap between who you want to be and who you actually are in different environments?

1 Key Takeaway

Your character is the only thing that’s truly yours.

Everything external — success, failure, reputation, possessions, even the opinions of others — is temporary and beyond your complete control. What remains, what you carry with you through every triumph and disaster, is who you choose to be in response to life’s circumstances.

The path to a meaningful life isn’t about avoiding difficulty or chasing constant wins. It’s about cultivating the awareness to see things clearly, the intention to act according to your values, and the discipline to keep going when there’s nothing left except the will that says “hold on.”

As Kipling reminds us, if you can fill each unforgiving minute with purposeful effort, if you can maintain your center through chaos, and if you can be the same person regardless of who’s watching — then “yours is the earth and everything in it.”

And more importantly, you’ll have lived as your truest self.

Bonus: Ben’s Modern Translation of “If”

At the end of the episode, Ben gave his own contemporary version of Kipling’s poem, translating the timeless wisdom into language that resonates today.

Here it is in full:

If you can stay calm when everyone else panics, when blame starts flying, and fear fills the air,
If you can trust your own compass while still listening to those who doubt,
If you can wait without frustration and stay honest when others twist the truth,
If you can rise above hate without letting hate harden you and keep your feet on the ground, not acting too proud, not too clever,
You’re already stronger than most.
If you can dream big, but not get lost in dreams,
If you can think deeply but not drown in thought,
If you can meet both success and disaster and see them for what they are: temporary and fleeting,
If you can watch the things you built crumble and still bend down humbly to rebuild, using whatever strength and skill you still have left - no complaints, no self-pity,
You found the quiet strength of character.
If you cannot let your accomplishments define you, but continue to play, then lose and start over and never speak of the loss,
If you can push your body, your mind, your heart to keep moving when they beg you to quit, and hold on when all that’s left inside of you is a single whisper that says, keep going, you’ll find that real freedom comes from discipline, detachment, and the courage to begin again.
If you can not be swayed by the crowd or stand among the elite and stay humble,
If no one can shake you, no one can control you, but everyone matters to you,
If you can give every minute of your life the effort it deserves, fully present, fully honest,
Then the world is yours and everything in it, and what’s more you’ll have lived as your truest self.

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