An Excellent Wknd [25.52]
Some thoughts on why questions matter more than answers
Hello, hi, 👋
Here’s hoping you and yours are having a great holiday week.
Oh, and if anybody needs any Christmas cookies, please feel free to stop by today. We have all of them.
Let’s get into it.
QUESTIONS PULL, ANSWERS PUSH
How many times have you exhausted yourself trying to have all the right answers?
For your clients. For your kids. For yourself.
Our friend Mark England calls it coaching hell on Earth - thinking you need to know exactly what everyone should do in every situation. The pressure is constant. Imposter syndrome is waiting around every corner. And the worst part? It doesn’t even work that well.
Here’s the shift: answers push, questions pull.
When we tell people answers, we’re pushing information at them. We’re taking on the burden of being smarter, more experienced, more capable than they are. We’re positioning ourselves as the expert who has it all figured out.
When we ask questions, we’re pulling insight out of them. We’re leveraging what they already know about their own lives, their own challenges, their own context. We’re creating collaboration instead of dependence.
The liberation comes when you realize you don’t actually need all the right answers. Heaven is when you stop trying to have them. Wisdom is when you don’t want them.
Because here’s what having all the answers requires: you’d need to know more about your client’s, your sister’s, your friend’s life than they do. You’d need to be smarter than all of them, in all areas, all the time. You’d need to carry the weight of everyone’s decisions on your shoulders.
That’s not sustainable. It’s not even desirable.
The alternative? Get good at asking powerful questions. Then help people write those questions down clearly enough that the answers start to emerge on their own.
This isn’t just about coaching others. It’s about how we coach ourselves. Stop demanding that you have everything figured out before you take action. Start asking better questions about what you’re actually trying to do.
The right question, properly worded, does more work than a dozen answers ever could.
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